By Nicki Byrnes
May 12, 2024
Note: A few years ago, I got a glimpse of what life would look like without my mom. I didn’t like it. In 2008, I saw my cousins lose their mom and navigate insurmountable grief. I didn’t like it. And a few years ago, what started out as a casual crochet lesson turned into a reminder that grief does not go away for so many who have lost their mom. It rears its ugly head at unexpected times. Here’s a poem about what I call “The 4 P’s of Crochet” (like the 4 P’s of Marketing), with her story, and that of so many, woven in. I’m sharing today, Mother’s Day, for anyone struggling with grief and loss.
She found me online
I didn’t realize my number was public
Can you teach me to crochet?
I knew as a child but have forgotten
We meet at the library
She remembers less than she thought
Melancholy replaces expectancy
Her eyes full of sorrow and loss
I did this with my mom, she says soft
She’s frustrated
Quick to huff and sigh
Hang in there, I say
Keep going – Patience
It comes quickly to some
Others, it takes more time
But anyone can master it
With tolerance and grit
We try something different, a new method
Thicker yarn with larger loops can be easier to work in
Bigger hook immune to beginner’s tension
But much to my chagrin
She’s frustrated
Quick to huff and sigh
Hang in there, I say
Keep going – Persevere
We start again from the beginning
Build confidence in what she already knows
Look, you can slip knot, hold yarn, chain
But her only focus the struggle to single crochet
She’s frustrated
Quick to huff and sigh
Hang in there, I say
Keep going – Practice
Go home and repeat what you learned today
Keep working on single crochet and see
Some things take more time
Everything does not comes back immediately
Everything worthwhile does require hard work
So don’t be so hard on yourself
But the vigor she once had has left
Eyes look distracted and shoulders now slumped
We make plans to meet again and say goodbye
But she emails before we do
I can’t get the hang of it and don’t have the time
I’m sorry but I’m through
She’s frustrated
Quick to huff and sigh
Hang in there, I say
Keep going – make it a Priority
I’m here if you ever need me, I plea
For I see
She needs crochet for herself and
To honor her mom’s memory
-Nicki Byrnes
And here, an abbreviated version:
nickibyrnescrochet.com 